It has been a tough few weeks. After my most recent doctor appointments we have had to have some hard conversations. We know my time is winding down -- I am not giving up, just being practical. In one of my conversations with my husband, Bill, he mentioned that he was sad about all of the things we would now not be able to do together (retire, travel, etc.) My response was to remind him of all the things we had already done together, as a couple and with our children. I think this is one of the ways I keep from wallowing in the pit of despair -- I have had such a great life with this man, and we both took so much for granted. I am writing this post for Bill, and for our children, Maxson and Madeline.
Our first official date was to sail his sailboat, a Hobie Cat 16 footer. We were supposed to be in a regatta (race), but the weather was rough. We drove to a different lake with some of his friends, and sailed there. My first time ever. Was terrifying, exhilarating and fun. Second date -- sailing the Hobie in a regatta in Newport Bay, Oregon, where I learned these regattas were two long days of sailing, and how competitive my future husband really is. That would be the weekend it rained both days, we camped, a sea lion surfaced under my behind while I was hanging over the bay at full speed ("flying a hull"), and I was thrown off the boat when it tried to flip. Bill sailed the catamaran back to pick me up, but just yelled at me to grab the rail as he sailed the boat over the top of me, and while I was dragging through the water, told me to climb back on. We were in the middle of a race -- no time to stop! I did as directed, after all, I knew there were sea lions around me! We actually won a trophy in that regatta, and I earned the first of many many bruises.
That occurred in April and May. In June, we went camping with other friends to the sand dunes in Winchester Bay, Oregon. Yes, my first experience riding ATVs (a 3-wheeler at that time). I was doing pretty well. I am not a big risk-taker, so I wasn't going too far outside my comfort zone...okay, maybe a little. Next thing you know, I am tumbling down a good sized hill, with the ATV bouncing on me a couple of times. My first trip to the Emergency Room. I was lucky (and wore a helmet), but it still took eight weeks before my ribs quit hurting. You may see where this is heading.
April through October was sailing season, summer also included ATV trips, and both of those entailed tent camping. Lots of tent camping. By the time winter rolled around I realized I would be snow skiing. I could ski -- self taught, very cautious on blue trails, still terrified of chair lifts. Dating a guy that signed us up for city league ski racing at Mt. Hood on Friday nights. Yes, racing -- down slalom courses, with starting gates that feel like the top of a 500 ft drop off to nowhere. Yes, I did it. Did I place at the bottom? Yes. Did I get better? Yes. In fact, in one of my last races, I was winning by quite a margin. I lost my left ski. For some reason, I kept going, on one ski. I could hear the announcer -- he was incredulous, and started cheering for me. Everyone along the course were yelling, too. I finished the run, losing the race, but winning by every other measure. Even my competitive boyfriend was impressed.
Since then there have been so many more "firsts" for me. Snorkeling in Hawaii on our honeymoon and coming within mere feet of a moray eel, which caused me to swim back to the boat "faster than an Olympian swimmer," according to the boat crew, who were laughing hysterically, Learning to waterski on a slalom ski at age 36, then trying to barefoot waterski, only to hit the lake surface with my face multiple times at 33 mph -- coming up with my eyelids inside out. And no, I never mastered it. Parasailing in Mexico, where I had to overcome my fear of heights only to realize while I was VERY high in the air, that the only thing keeping me from splatting into the ocean or a high-rise hotel was a yellow nylon rope. (Did not need to repeat that one). Swing dance lessons with Bill, where I learned I don't follow well. Taking houseboat trips from Canada to California, building lifetime friendships and memories for our children.
We even joined a yacht club -- and served as officers. We were lucky to own beautiful boats and explored the Puget Sound from Olympia into Canada. We led the Parade of Lighted Ships for three years. I learniedto ride a dirtbike, not well, but ride at age 40. Kayaking and river rafting with Bill in Alaska for our 15th anniversary -- one of only two vacations we took without the kids. Finding petroglyphs in southern Utah with our friends Larry & Candy McKay and resident expert Jason Campbell. Going back to college after graduating 22 years before, to become a teacher -- now THAT takes some courage! Coaching basketball, teaching math and science. Boating and camping with other great friends in Eastern Washington, cooking for 30-40 people at a time, drinking too much -- and laughing every possible minute. Riding with Bill on his Harley-Davidson in the sun, rain and even the snow during one Olympia Toy Run! Lots of experiences with friends that became family. And all of them helped build my courage for this last journey with ALS.
The very people who have commented about how brave I am, or how inspiring are some of the very people who have helped me become this person. I have had amazing adventures with amazing people. I am truly blessed. Appreciate your days, every one. Appreciate your friends and family -- you don't always know the roles they will play, or the secret destinations of your journey.
